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I'm not my father

Humans of New York Stories

“There was a permanent dark cloud in the house. It was abuse in every way. Mental. Physical. Sexual. It was permanent fear. Whenever my father was home, I just locked myself in my room and tried to be as quiet as possible. My mother and I finally escaped when I was six, but the abuse stayed with me. I didn’t make any friends at school. I couldn’t trust anyone. It was an open wound. But when I was fourteen, my mom told me that we could do something about it. She asked me if I’d be willing to testify. And I agreed. The trial happened two years later at my father’s military base. I hadn’t seen him in ten years. The lawyers told me I didn’t have to be in the courtroom when I testified, but I felt like I needed to face him. Just to show that I wasn’t afraid anymore. He was already seated when I walked in the room. I put my hand on the Bible and looked right at him. For a moment, I felt a stroke of fear wash over me. Like I was a kid again. But I set it aside and gave my testimony. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. He was sentenced to ten years in prison. I’ve moved on with my life. I don’t think about him. I’ve grown to look like him, but I’m not him. Even if someone tells me I’m him-- I’m not him. I’m me. I’ve lived my entire life to not be him.”

هر پسری سنگیست بر گور پدر خویش...

“There was a permanent dark cloud in the house.

یه فضای شوم دائما توی خونه حکم فرما بود

It was abuse in every way.

بدرفتاری بود (سواستفاده) به هر نحوی

Mental. Physical. Sexual.

ذهنی (روحی). جسمی. جنسی

It was permanent fear.

ترس مداوم بود.

Whenever my father was home,

هر زمان پدرم خونه بود،

I just locked myself in my room and tried to be as quiet as possible.

من فقط خودم رو توی اتاق زندانی میکردم و سعی کردم تا حد ممکن ساکت باشم.

My mother and I finally escaped when I was six,

مادرم و من بالاخره فرار کردیم وقتی من شش ساله م بود.

but the abuse stayed with me.

اما اون سواستفاده با من موند.

I didn’t make any friends at school.

با هیچ کسی تو مدرسه دوست نشدم.

I couldn’t trust anyone.

نمیتونستم به کسی اعتماد کنم.

It was an open wound.

زخمی بود که التیام نیافته بود.

(یه  زخم باز بود)

But when I was fourteen,

اما وقتی چهارده سالم بود

my mom told me that we could do something about it.

مادرم بهم گفت که میتونیم یه کاریش بکنیم.

She asked me if I’d be willing to testify.

اون ازم پرسید که  حاضرم شهادت بدم (یا نه؟)

And I agreed.

و من قبول کردم.

The trial happened two years later at my father’s military base.

محاکمه دو سال بعد توی پایگاه نظامی پدرم برگزار شد (اتفاق افتاد)

I hadn’t seen him in ten years.

ده سال بود که ندیده بودمش.

The lawyers told me

وکیل ها بهم گفتن

I didn’t have to be in the courtroom

مجبورنبودم توی دادگاه باشم

when I testified,

وقتی که شهادت میدم

but I felt like I needed to face him.

اما حس کردم که نیاز دارم باهاش رو به رو بشم

Just to show that I wasn’t afraid anymore.

فقط واسه اینکه نشون بدم دیگه ترسی ندارم.

He was already seated

نشونده بودنش از قبل

when I walked in the room.

وقتی که من وارد شدم

I put my hand on the Bible

دستم رو روی انجیل گذاشتم

and looked right at him.

و مستقیم بهش نگاه کردم

For a moment,

واسه یه لحظه

I felt a stroke of fear wash over me.

حس کردم موجی از ترس منو فرا گرفت

Like I was a kid again.

انگار که دوباره یه بچه بودم

But I set it aside and gave my testimony.

اما گذاشتمش کنار و شهادتم رو دادم

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

احساس کردم که باری سنگین از روی دوشم برداشته شده بود.

He was sentenced to ten years in prison.

به ده سال زندان محکوم شد.

I’ve moved on with my life.

من به زندگیم ادامه دادم.

I don’t think about him.

بهش فکر نمی کنم.

I’ve grown to look like him,

بزرگ که شدم شبیه اون شدم

but I’m not him.

اما من اون نیستم.

Even if someone tells me I’m him—

حتی اگه کسی بگه که من اونم (پدرمم)

 I’m not him.

من (عین) اون نیستم.

I’m me.

من منم.

I’ve lived my entire life to not be him.”

من تمام عمرم رو (جوری) زندگی کردم که (عین) اون نباشم.

متن برگرفته از پیج اینستاگرام و وبسایت

 Humans of New York Stories

تهیه ویدیو، متن و ترجمه از
سجاد حسینی مدیر سایت لینگوانا

داستان های مردم نیویورک که روایت پستی و بلندی های زندگی از زبان مردم کوچه و بازار است محتوایی ایده آل برای آشنایی با لغات و اصطلاحات روزمره انگلیسی است .


❗️ بعد از یکی دوبار تماشای ویدیو،
متن و ترجمه رو با دقت مطالعه کن
و بعد دوباره ویدیو رو ببین. سوالی داشتی حتما بپرس


یادگیری زبان انگلیسی با داستان های مردم نیویورک


منبع:

پیج اینستاگرام و وبسایت Humans of New York

 

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